This testimonial comes from a member of the GLABCOM community:
“I first became involved with Jamaica AIDS Support in the early 90’s when a friend of mine was diagnosed with HIV and his parents didn’t know what to do, so they called me. There was a time in this when I didn’t know what to say and my Christianity just took over. I was in shock though.
I remember when I told my parents what had happened and they said to me, “Just let’s hope you don’t have it”. I was shocked to hear it, after all, these were my parents and this was my friend. Then the shock wore off and the friendship and compassion took over, because first and foremost he was my friend, no matter what. It was with the same compassion that Jamaica AIDS Support started. I heard about JAS through a friend and was told they may be able to help. The first meeting that I went to, there were people that I knew, but just never spoke to and the thing that came to mind, was that in some way or the other, we are here for a common cause. Because of the knowledge and information that I received from them at that time I was able to ease some of my friend’s suffering and some of his pain. When others deserted him, I was there because I knew I could be in the same position. I first began as a volunteer when I knew I needed to do something and I remember speaking to Terri, and she simply said, “Just love, touch that person, hug and kiss that person and you will be giving a world of happiness”. (Terri-Ann lived in our Hospice and was the first and only person in Jamaica to go camera front) I became mentally unbalanced because I was never so close to someone that died of AIDS, and each time that I became close to someone who died, a little part of me died too.
All this time I did not know that I was preparing myself for the shock that I could be infected too. There was a time in my life when people were dying right, left and centre and I didn’t know what to do. It was when I became friends with Terri that I found that people can find friendship in the most strenuous situations. But as a gay man myself, it was hard to accept in a community that tells you, you can never be a part of a society, you are the scum of the earth. Facing both family and friends, I had to live a double life and in many situations it was JAS who I had to turn to for help. One of the things they taught is the love of one’s self, before healing can begin. How can you love yourself when you want to destroy yourself, self destruction is a time bomb in many Jamaican gay men. That is when the Support Group played an important part in finding self esteem and self love.
After I became actively involved in GLABCOM, I truly began to know of self- love and seeing gay men from all walks of life began some form of healing. I began to look at people with more compassion and love, than I ever did before. For me it was rebirth, meeting people and getting to love them. When they made their transitions, it was more like, friends that had gone out and would soon be back.
Jamaica AIDS Support has taught me how to grow and accept myself as a gay person, and as someone who is struggling to deal with being HIV positive, and all that life has to fling at me. There are times I feel that there is a special purpose out there and not to just “lie down and play dead”. I still have life and the love of friends and family. People should not have to segregate themselves from the ones they love.
A gay man and HIV positive, I am positive in growth, love, friendship and a place that will not make me feel anything less than truly loved. This is my own personal testimony.
