Testimonial from a JAS client who receives counselling and support
“Like any other young woman, I was living a normal life, married with four children. Three of them for my husband, by whom I was infected. After I had my last child, my husband became sick so often. He complained of chest pain. I remembered him telling me a long time ago, that he got a “lick” in his chest, so I said to myself that it was because of the lick. After a year he became very sick, so he went to the hospital. After a couple of days he returned home and started to move around again. Then I realised there was something different about him, his hair and this constant skin rash. Don’t say I’m crazy, but after he returned from the hospital there was something in my head telling me that my husband has AIDS. I remember saying it to him. His reply was, “then we all have it”. I didn’t tell you how I was told not to marry, so I guess it’s my beating.
Then came the worst, one Friday night about 12 o’clock he woke me and said he’s feeling pain and wanted to go to the hospital. That night I didn’t take him, I sent him with someone else. He came back at 4 o’clock and I wondered why. Then he said that I should sit down. He began telling me if I know that he love me and I say yes. I was wondering why he say this to me. I was so upset, I said to him to get to the point. I could see he was scared, and then he told me the sad story that he was diagnosed with AIDS. My God, what a tragedy. I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to kill him. I felt like I wanted to run away, but something held me back. I prayed for morning and when it came I went by my Church. I didn’t care who else was there, but somebody was, and that was to my shame. I cried, I wept bitterly, I was afraid. Not to die but afraid there wouldn’t be anyone to take care of my children after I die. There were times when my condition got to me, because I was scorned and rejected. Yes, I had friends I thought were genuine, but after they hear about my situation, they all vanish. At times I couldn’t trust anyone, although there were a few people who helped me.
Since my husband died, the main help is from the Almighty God. I will give him thanks always. There were times I was so fed up, then I learn about and was introduced to JAS. They are more than friends, they are like family. I have been helped by them in so many ways. I mean I can count on their smile to comfort me. If you go there feeling down and out, by talking to them you feel empowered. I don’t know about anyone else, I can only speak for myself. I don’t know if it’s because of their training or what, but they all treated me with love. They don’t act as if they are afraid of embracing me. I was helped by them, Nurse Wellington, Nurse Gowe, Mrs English and Mr McKnight. I thank you all for what you have done for me. Before I knew you, I was so frustrated. At times I felt like running away, disappearing, but no place would want me. But God’s mercy kept telling me, although I am HIV positive, my God is bigger than my sickness. That’s why I am still alive. Thank you God in Jesus name and thank you JAS. May God Bless you.
